Heart Fluttering with butterflies filled With the essence of my spirit and soul Short Breaths, Shaking hands Not a good vibe My mind is disturbed by the utter of his name What it all means, I'm not sure But feeling this loss of control is softly killing me.
My outlook has changed! As was aforementioned, I really enjoy working with my boss- she's understanding and respectful. Despite how MANY people (who again shall remain nameless) told me I would be very bored and absolutely dread it, I am feeling differently about it now. The good new is that there is a health unit at my new office location! My boss has encouraged me to learn more about it, so I did and.... It was great! the nurse practioner on staff is very nice and was very informative. Helping out with some administrative work in there on occassion will prove valuable! I suppose God really does always work things out in the end. ;-)
Check This Out - Dirty Mrs. Jackson, cheating on her husband- it's no longer just an "affair" she's having. Apparently, there are Types lol. See if your dirty little secret falls into one of the categories.
Oh my my my... I cannot describe this Lady's talent with words! Her neo soul music takes me back to Love Jones circa 1997, sitting in a poetry cafe... body enhancing, deep red dress- knee length...my hair is free, the smell of floating smoke irritating my nose, but I don't even care, the artist on stage is so deep, I'm engrossed...Giving snaps to the woman who just gave her life to the mic. Ledisi's music is beautiful, rich. I love it! Her CD Lost and Found is a must have.
I have loved the Marie Digby song they play out on the radio for a while now (Say It Again). So I decided to check out the rest of her songs a little bit ago, and....I LOVE THEM! She has a beautiful, fresh voice. I love the fact that she plays guitar too. hmmm... can you see lessons in my future? ;-)
Well, this is it; the relocation occurs tomorrow and not a second too soon! I can't wait to get to D.C. and work- a familiar place is exactly what I need right now. I have been praying about the recently posted situation and I have not received an answer as of yet. I am not rushing God, but... lol well maybe a little ;-) I would really like to be clear on what I should I do. I have been asking Him for wisdom in this situation, and I really hope He blesses me with it.
So, I'm laying here, half dazed, drifting sweetly...bitterly in an and out of a lazy haze. I'd love to be sleeping right now, but my mind is caught up. I am stuck pondering this person. this man. I am asking me, should I really put myself through this again? He's a great man but yet still a Man... potential for harm is high, and I don't want to end up having to sew my heart back together from tiny fragments, spread across my spirit. He's presenting himself to me as that not-so-average-better-than-average guy. However, God blessed me with a spirit of discernment and although I ignore it at times (lol), I can usually read people's books. When I can't, it normally means that God is trying to teach me a lesson that I forced Him to teach me the hard way (by not listening in other forms lol). He has been hurt, he has a sordid past- he's also hurt others. I can tell this. I know he has issues with his family- No, he did not tell me, but it's in his eyes. The mother is the first woman a man learns to respect- it's hard for him to respect other women when there is an issue with this particular one. Okay, I may be "jumping the gun"- he has not expressed any of this to me, but this is what I feel is there. I feel like I could fall into those eyes of his, and find the truth in his spirit; not tame, but befriend his soul. I want to know the good and the bad about him. Yea yea I realize this is pointless rambling to most of you, but those that have been here know the feeling.... your thoughts are random, your mind is anxious, your heart is fragile. It's some harmonious mix between crazy and bliss lol. I'm logging off now.
By the way, grades are looking great, Despite that devilish chemistry final, I got a wonderful grade!
It feels good to say that my exams are over. It was a long quarter, and It will be good to be able to stop thinking about orbitals and velocity for a bit. I am hoping that my summer classes won't prove to be too challenging.