Wednesday, October 29, 2008

BitterSweet Joy Goes Down So Hard

Well, I was so excited before. I still am. However, I just reminded myself that this trip could mean the end... Will we stay friends? Not sure, honestly not sure. Can I even take two weeks of it? Don't really have a choice. On the flipside, this could mean the beginning of an end of some type of inorganic friendship. Forced? yes. Awkward? yes. I just don't know. It kills me that he acts like nothings happened but then again he does.

"So you aren't excited anymore?"

Then on the same hand, he wants to joke with me as if we're friends. At this point, we are not friends. More like strangers that just happened to share a chapter in a book. A corrupted chapter at that. I don't even know if he knows me really, and I obviously don't know him...

I can hear his name without tears, should I leave it at that and just pretend I never met him after this trip? I guess only time will tell... But anyway, less than 2 months now! I suppose I will have to wait until then to find out, unless the morning's conversation is some magical statement that I (or she) has never heard before.

I highly doubt that ladder statement...

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