Tuesday, March 2, 2010

There's Beauty in the Breakdown.... And in Letting Go


If you've read my blog for a long time, then you're very familiar with the title of this post. I just wanted to let you all know that I finally have let go. And all of those tiny pieces that were once jagged, painful shards have become  beautifully sewn back together. If you've been reading for a while then you also know that in 2008 I went through a trial that just completely made a muck of my mental... I mean it really was just f*ckery plain and simple. My heart was so broken, that I wasn't sure I ever wanted to feel anything again. One line that someone said, stayed in my head: "Be grateful when you feel great sadness. How can you know great joy if you don't understand pain?" I love her for that. I put my problem into perspective, and I began to rebuild myself. This will/might sound cheesy, but I sincerely couldn't have done it without my relationship with God. He's awesome and when no one else could understand he could... My 2 besties didn't hurt either (you ladies know who you are <3).

I'm proud of myself to say that every shred of memorabilia that I had of "The Other" aka. *.*.* is gone. I hold no malice. I wish her bluebirds in the spring...and all that other soft stuff (As long as she stays away from my… LoL, just kidding… maybe). :) Seriously though, I realized that despite the love that grew from that situation, I couldn't truly feel like the burden was lifted until I forgave her, him, and just let it go- I had to finally say Selah. I would think that I had previously, and things would happen, and I'd just know that I wasn't over it. At this point in time, I truly feel blessed to say my heart is filled with joy, love, but most of all peace. I am productive. I am confident. but most of all, I am Happy.  (Selah reached)

I guess this post is just a testament to that corny little anecdote that everyone hates to hear- Time heals all (time and love in this case). Also, some advice: sometimes the most beautiful, beneficial thing you can do is kiss that broken bridge and softly blow it away. If the connection is meant to remain the pieces will somehow come back together. Smile b*tches. :-D (you know after all that soft stuff, I had to throw that last line in. haha).


photo courtesy of Meowbie on images.tribe.net

2 comments:

  1. "sometimes the most beautiful, beneficial thing you can do is kiss that broken bridge and softly blow it away"

    -Selah

    Well put. I can relate a lot to this piece. I recently had the opportunity to embrace forgiveness both toward myself and to a few others and it has been a tremendously freeing process. Animosity and bitterness are so hard to carry. I like the freedom of forgiveness. Thanks for the transparency and the wordplay.

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  2. Man, sometimes I need to be transparent top complete the healing process. I agree, carrying arounfd the burden of a grudge is more than a heart like mine can bear. It literally tears at me. Letting go was one of the healthiest things I've ever done for myself... Now if I could just stick to my workout regimen 5 days a week haha

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