Have you ever felt like you were pushing someone in your life away? I feel like I have this syndrome, wherein, I will get close to a person, genuinely like them, and then just... I don't know, fall flat. The fire just goes out. No, I'm not referring to romantic relationships. I used to be like that with men, but I'm currently in a romantic relationship that's been going strong for years now. Friends though? Ugh. That's how I know the few constant, long-term friends I have were made just for me... I actually work to keep them. It's not that I don't trust new people I meet (I don't -_-), it's just that I... well I give up. Call it a subconscious preservation mechanism or even conceit or selfishness, if you will. I'll take the bashing, because I do feel terrible for this character flaw of mine.
Without naming names (Though, this applies to so many people in my life, I doubt you'd figure it out), let me give you an example. There was a girl that I met out here and immediately hit it off with. I instantly liked her- we were similar, yet different where it counts (yes, I said what I meant). Long story short, I made a strong effort to, "seal the deal" for maybe 3 weeks. Then, I just stopped. No particular reason. The need for the friendship with her just faded. Perhaps she wasn't responsive enough to my efforts. Perhaps I felt she wasn't genuine, who knows? We're still cool, and, at times, I wish I'd done better. I'm just a terrible keeper-upper-wither <---- LOL, welcome to my dictionary.
Is it just me that's this terrible of a person? Please say no... haha