Wednesday, December 22, 2010


I know I'm supposed to be giving you all a real post at this point, but I just had to rant on my hair shrinkage! As many of you know, I cut my hair last year, and again this year. Well, due to protective styling and less idiotic handling by people (mainly myself), it's growing back just fine... However, the shrinkage KIILLLSSS me. Not softly either! Check it out. I was washing my hair when I took these. I had just taken down 2 of my lil' twists in the first pic.

*Sigh* I will be so glad when my curly hair gets this length, or at least close to it. I hate straightening.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

So... I Wish I Knew My Hair Type

I am on a healthy, natural hair care journey (attempting to be on one anyway), and I can't figure out my hair type. I know  I know you need a full head pic to give me my hair type. However, this is a small section of my hair in a ponytail, do these curls look 3C to you? My shrinkage is something serious. Ugh.

Anyway, I'd like to develop a solid growth regimen but the wealth of information available is MORE than overwhelming. I sort of have one, but not really. *SIGH* Someone mail me a hooded dryer!

I feel like I'm a majority 4a/b, mixed with a small amount of 3c. I'm not sure. The tighter curl pattern is my current one I suppose. The other 2 were taken earlier this year, when there was still some BKT in my hair.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Curse You Facebook! Can FB Ruin Relationships?

OK, I'm sure everyone's seen that YouTube video of the couple breaking up over the guy's Facebook activity (Here It Is), and if you're anything like me, you laughed your butt off... but unless you're as much of an overthinker as I am, I'm not sure if you stopped and thought: Damn, FB really does have a way of getting people caught up! Not to say these said people aren't to blame, but honestly, without FB, how would they have been caught?
For instance, take a friend of mine, who we'll call Charlie*, that lost the only woman he loved due to an FB mishap. Apparently they had been on the rocks for a bit, and a picture she saw of him with another girl on FB was all it took for her to completely delete him from her life...Literally. Although his relationship with the woman in the picture was innocently platonic, the picture was dated to a time when he was allegedly just "hanging with the guys." The girl in the picture was the sister to one of these guys. He never got the chance to explain that to his lady. You're thinking now, 'Oh Shar you can't make conclusions about our beloved FB off this one extreme instance.' Okay, I won't make them off of this ONE instance- let me share another with you.

I have another friend, lets call him Damien*. He was living the single life abroad- enjoying life in that way that many young men choose to do (tee hee), getting the 2 W's- Wasted and Women. Now we've probably all experienced having a little fun the night before and waking up to pictures we don't remember taking. I don't even mean naughty ones, just those pictures that you don't remember your friends snapping. Well, our young Damien was a charmer. He didn't just date these girls, he partied and chilled with them as well. This would be fine, EXCEPT that at these various chilling/partying events, pictures were snapped... many of them. Again, nothing would be wrong with this if said pictures didn't end up on FB. Damien thinks all is well until he starts to get those calls/texts, you know the ones: "Hey, I didn't know you knew Sara*.." "Hey, you said you were busy last night, then I see you tagged to pictures with other chicks." Damien's single and fabulous life was muddled just as it was beginning. At this point you're saying, 'That's his fault.' How? He's a single, serial dater. Now you're saying 'He should've just told those women to shut up then, they had no right to be mad.' That's all fine and well, but we all know how people are. Exclusive or not, people don't like to see the person they're dating in pictures with other people that same person is dating. It's life- emotions are illogical.

In the last example I'll provide for sake of not writing a novel on here (I have TONS), I'll tell you the story of Chris* and Meg*. Happy couple, for the most part, typical. Both had Facebook accounts; both used to spend time at each other's residence; both had pasts that wanted to stay in their presents. Well, one day, Chris happens to check Meg's FB page, and sees a wall post from her ex-boyfriend, a link in fact that he'd also commented on- Tupac ft. Jon B- Are You Still Down. The comment: After seeing you, I thought of this song... Now by seeing- he meant that Meg had recently accepted him as a friend, and he saw her profile picture. Needless to say, Chris was pissed. He didn't want Meg talking to her ex, much less seeing him! So, in immature retaliation, Chris commented on his ex-gf's status- he knew Meg would see this. Meg had indeed seen his activity by the time she got to his house last night, so guess what she did when Chris took a shower and left his laptop open? She looked at his FB page... unfortunately, Chris had left his chat turned on, and guess who chatted him? Yep, the ex. In short, they broke up over a bigger issue later, but the entire mistrust of each other began over an FB wall post. They both sound ridiculous, but again emotions are irrational, and I know of some of irrational shenanigans that some of YOU reading this post so pls stop the judging. Oh, did I mention that they both knew it was over, when they changed their FB statuses from "In a relationship" to "It's complicated." I mean sheesh the only place to go from there is "Single" right? (Lol).

In fact, Facebook ruining romantic type of relationships has been recently documented in psychological studies. Breaking up over facebook is not uncommon, in one study they found the following results (Study 1):
  • Nearly 25% of respondents have found out their relationship was over by seeing it on FB first
  • Nearly 21% of respondents said they would break up with someone through FB by changing their status to 'single.'
  • Nearly 40% of respondents have updates their status on FB so the person they're dating sees they have plans.
  • Nearly 35% of respondents have used their FB status to make someone think they have plans, even if they don't
In another study, researchers found that Facebook enhances and reinforces jealous behavior for people who are already prone to jealousy. Honestly, I can see why. The study also found that 74.6% of all participants were, at the very least, somewhat likely to add previous romantic or sexual partners as friends on FB and 78.9% reported that their partner has added previous romantic/sexual partners as friends (Study 2). Author A. Joinson found that one of the most commonly reported uses of FB was "Social Investigation" (FB Uses). My question is, would these "jealous" people even have a chance to get jealous if they weren't privy to such "questionable" information about their partners on a daily basis? By questionable info, I mean conversations, connections (friends) and status updates. Also, are they really just neurotic, jealous freaks, if they "investigate," and find that their suspicions are confirmed?

I wanted to pass that video, these articles and the various accompanying statistics off as funny. I truly did, but I myself have experienced utter f*ckery regarding FaceBook- some of it serious, some not so much. On the minor side, I find it interesting that I've been dealing with my man, the SAME man, for over a year now and yet EVERYTIME I alter my relationship status on FaceBook I get all types of messages, comments and "likes." I suppose the saying is true "It ain't official until it's on FaceBook." On the major side, I've had girls who I've blocked make fake accounts just to see the pictures I had up of me with my man! If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know EXACTLY who I'm talking about. I had a chick accuse me of wanting her man because I wrote "Happy Bday Hun" on his wall *SIGH* I've also had girls contact me over FB JUST to tell me my current man used to deal with them... *YAWN*. I mean, I can't say I completely trust FB's role in my own relationship- it's easy to stay in contact with those who should've been let go a long time ago (more importantly, it's easy for them to contact him or me); it's much easier for groupies to try to get their little 5 minutes of shine; and it's also very easy to be secretive. However, one major self-calming factor for me is that we trust each other, and although we're both capable of making mistakes (or would it be e-mistakes? LOL) we don't let that possibility control us. 
So, aside from the other questions I listed above, I'd like to know your opinion- has FB ruined something for you? Have you found incriminating information on your bf/gf or someone you were dating that caused you to act differently or caused you to get into an argument with them?
Oh I also thought this was funny... There's an FB group... about how FB ruins relationships. HA! -->

!Update! New article on FB's potential to ruin your life (lol):

*photo courtesy of*

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Do You Like The Way...

Lauryn Hill, love, your music tames my soul. Selah was always on repeat, but a friend of mine re-introduced me to her song with Carlos Santana and Cee-lo - Do You Like The Way...

Man, the beat, the vocals- I can't get enough. I'm Enchanted. Enthralled. Engrossed.

Lauryn Hill & Santana Live Performance

I provided a link to a live performance of the song. Listen and see things differently. Selah :-)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Quick Hair Update

Okay, so I've totally become an organic ingredients junkie. I always loved organic food, but now I'm applying it to my hair, and I LOVE the results. Here are my top two recipes thus far.

Modified Edge Growth (but can be used for growth overall- thanks Laney for the base):
  • 2 oz Castor oil
  • ~5% sulfur (sublimed. for me this was about a teaspoon + 1 pinch)
  • Pure, organic coconut oil (about .5oz)
  • Few drops Tea Tree Oil (essential oil)
  • few drops Jojoba Oil (just to thin it out along with the CB oil)
  • A little Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO)
I only apply this one to my scalp because I don't like my hair TOO oily. Also, it can build-up so unless you shampoo at least once a week (preferably along with a co-wash) I wouldn't recommend using it. Also SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE before you use it. Sulfur settles.

Deep Conditioner (Protein and Moisture)
  • 1 egg
  • 1 spoonful mayonnaise
  • 3 spoonfuls of Honey
  • a little Pure Coconut Oil
  • a little EVOO
  • a little Castor Oil
I also added a little of the product Mega-Tek (a conditioner made for horse grooming- look it up, good ish).

I don't have a hooded dryer at home, so I placed a processing cap over my head for 35min, and then I placed a warm towel over the cap for like 20min (give or take a few minutes). I followed up with a moisturizing conditioner (no protein) My hair turned out wonderful (I'm natural)! Even my stylist noticed a difference, and I go to him weekly. Try it out ladies. :)

Anyway, just trying to share what's working for me thus far... all hair is different.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

There's Beauty in the Breakdown.... And in Letting Go

If you've read my blog for a long time, then you're very familiar with the title of this post. I just wanted to let you all know that I finally have let go. And all of those tiny pieces that were once jagged, painful shards have become  beautifully sewn back together. If you've been reading for a while then you also know that in 2008 I went through a trial that just completely made a muck of my mental... I mean it really was just f*ckery plain and simple. My heart was so broken, that I wasn't sure I ever wanted to feel anything again. One line that someone said, stayed in my head: "Be grateful when you feel great sadness. How can you know great joy if you don't understand pain?" I love her for that. I put my problem into perspective, and I began to rebuild myself. This will/might sound cheesy, but I sincerely couldn't have done it without my relationship with God. He's awesome and when no one else could understand he could... My 2 besties didn't hurt either (you ladies know who you are <3).

I'm proud of myself to say that every shred of memorabilia that I had of "The Other" aka. *.*.* is gone. I hold no malice. I wish her bluebirds in the spring...and all that other soft stuff (As long as she stays away from my… LoL, just kidding… maybe). :) Seriously though, I realized that despite the love that grew from that situation, I couldn't truly feel like the burden was lifted until I forgave her, him, and just let it go- I had to finally say Selah. I would think that I had previously, and things would happen, and I'd just know that I wasn't over it. At this point in time, I truly feel blessed to say my heart is filled with joy, love, but most of all peace. I am productive. I am confident. but most of all, I am Happy.  (Selah reached)

I guess this post is just a testament to that corny little anecdote that everyone hates to hear- Time heals all (time and love in this case). Also, some advice: sometimes the most beautiful, beneficial thing you can do is kiss that broken bridge and softly blow it away. If the connection is meant to remain the pieces will somehow come back together. Smile b*tches. :-D (you know after all that soft stuff, I had to throw that last line in. haha).

photo courtesy of Meowbie on

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Men, Do You Really Find Bisexual Women More Attractive?

Lately, I’ve noticed a surge in the amount of women who identify themselves as bisexual… Oops, scratch that, actually I’ve noticed a lot of women who engage in sexual activity with women yet don’t think of themselves as bisexual – why is that, what is “bisexual” these days? (LoL, Don’t answer that, that’s entirely different post).

Anyway, I’ve specifically noticed this trend in women of color. With the fast success of rappers like Nicki Minaj, and Trey Songz asking for which 2 ladies wanna come home with him, it’s become “Sexy” for women to be openly attracted to other women. Please don’t take this tone as judgmental. I’m just wondering why it’s now so acceptable in the minority community for women to be attracted to other women. Actually, I lied… My real focus for this paragraph is on the men. Men, do you really find it sexy? I used to think that many only liked to play with women who chose to have this type of fun, but I’ve been seeing quite a few of them get locked down by some pretty nice men (snicker.snicker). My next question is Men, would you “wife” a woman who perhaps, doesn’t date women, but just engages in occasional sexual escapades with them? Would you take her seriously, or just look at her as a fun toy for the moment? (Theme song for this paragraph: Young Dro- My Girl Gotta Girlfriend).

This section is for my ladies. Ladies, I know you can’t honestly be dumb enough to allow your sexuality to be influenced by the latest rapper that’s getting way too much play time on the radio (I’m not hating, I *heart* Ms. Minaj...and I'm educated.. So Sue me b*tchs lol) However, if rappers like Lil Wayne and T.I. didn't glorify girl-on-girl play, would you still find it so interesting? Is it a ploy to get more men on the team, or do you really like to indulge in the occasional kitty session (sorry, I’m blunt. If you don’t like it… *Kanye shrug*)? I don’t want this to come off as racially offensive, (ha, there’s enough white in my family to fill every Republican vote in the House- LoL another bad joke, especially since I, myself, hold MANY Republican views, sorry I can be a real b*tch) but I’ve heard many black women say that such behavior was characteristic of the TWG aka Typical.White.Girl. Comments like “you know white girls get drunk and kiss each other,” used to be common (songs like Katy Perry’s I Kissed a Girl were often used as hardcore evidence). Who would have thought that all the little chicks making such comments were running home and heading into 69’s while their boyfriend’s watched? Tsk. Tsk. *Note* here, I’m not judging what you do with your man, I’m a HUGE advocate of #freakbehavior with your lover (haha); the judgment is for all the women who made the aforementioned comments when they were secretly in deep thought about the last taste of cherry chapstick they’d had…

Just in case you guys thought I was kidding, here are some articles that have noticed this little trend I’ve chosen to blog about. I’d like everyone to share their thoughts in a mature manner. I refuse to judge anyone’s lifestyle, and if you do disagree with it, you better damn well find a respectful way to say it in your comment. But I must say… if this topic offends you, you prrrooobbaaabblllyyy shouldn’t keep reading my blog- eggshells just aren’t my thing. *Besos*

Girls.Just.Wanna.Have.Fun :-)